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It was the extremely large donor offspring cohorts that originally caught the attention of author Jacqueline Mroz, a veteran journalist specializing in reproductive and family issues. One afternoon, she sat perusing sperm-donor profiles with her sister, who was planning to become a Solo Mom by choice. During their perusal of sperm donors, her sister told her a story of a woman who’d just learned her child had 75 half-siblings. After some research, Mroz confirmed that this kind of large offspring pool was not uncommon, prompting her to write a
Because sperm clinics in the United States are unregulated, there are no family size limits, little uniformity about required medical or genetic tests, or policies about anonymous donors. And because most sperm banks are for profit, their policies are not catered toward what’s best for donors or donor offspring.
When I was choosing my sperm donor, I was largely unaware of the lack of uniformity among sperm banks. I naively assumed they were almost all the same in terms of screening process, medical tests, efforts to keep in touch with sperm donors, family limits, etc. I was focused on what information I could receive about the sperm donor. Finding a donor who felt right seemed of paramount importance, not the sperm bank’s policies. Knowing all I know now, however, I would have spent time finding a sperm bank with the most ethical practices, extensive genetic testing, and strict family limits.
While Mroz highlights many of the concerns that arise as a result of the lack of sperm-bank regulation, my favorite chapters include many heartwarming stories of contact among half-siblings as well as between donors and their offspring. At times, the half-siblings have had a hard time connecting, but in most cases, the offspring have quickly developed bonds, dropping the term
Although this book’s main intention is to highlight the issues rampant within the sperm-donor industry, it also gives important and fascinating information relevant to any mother raising a donor-conceived child. The history, combined with anecdotes about the lives and opinions of donor children as well as of the donors themselves, provides insight that Solo Moms by choice can use to talk to their children and navigate issues of identity and family.
Fertility Associates, which does 80 per cent of the country’s sperm donation work and caps the number of families men can donate to at seven, has slammed the practice of serial donations and using online forums to find donors.
You may already have children of your own and want to help others experience parenthood. Or you may not be ready to have a family of your own but want to make someone else’s dreams come true. You can also donate sperm to a relative or friend who is trying to conceive. In this situation, we may consider donors over 45 years of age.
Hear from two of our sperm donors on their motivations and experiences in donating.
Sperm donors (and their partner, where applicable), whether clinic-recruited or recipient-recruited, are required to attend a minimum of two counselling sessions with a Melbourne IVF counsellor to discuss the social and legal issues around donor-conceived families.
